My Papercut Chronicles

me!

Hey :) Um....here's a LITTLE bit about me! Believe me, you must be really special if you're reading this. You must be amazing if you understand it. If you talk to me about it, you're just spiffy. My name is Gabrielle. I like that my name splits in two.

Gabby:
Hey, I'm Gabby! I'm really friendly and I love giving hugs! I go to Catholic school and I get pretty good grades. I have the best friends in the world, and I'm always open for more. I'm still trying to figure out exactly what makes sense in my life. I have two passions, one that carries more weight than the other. Basketball is one, I can't really bring myself to stop. That means something, right? And music. I wouldn't be here without it. I sing, and that's truely what I want to do. Maybe one day I'll do that. I'm working on it :) . I'm thankful to God for my life. It's been hard sometimes, but who's hasn't, right?


Brielle:
Hey, hoe. I'm Brielle. Don't fuck with my friends, and I won't fuck with you, okay? Umm..I play basketball because I love it, and it's good for my figure. I sing, because I have to. Music is what got me through the hardest of times: cutting, forcing myself to learn how to stop, and those lonely times when you know there's just no one that could understand.
I need Gabby. She nourishes me, and she lets me out when I need some air. She can write and sing whatever I need to be told. But she can't sing like I can, and you have to be extremely spiffy for me to let you here me sing. I have the sweetest ass in my class :) but I let Gabby take credit. I spoil that chick so much! I take the pain for her when the worst times come. In an ugly situation, I let her sleep, and I come out. I can be destructive, or I can be powerful. Gabby's sweet and I don't want her to get fucked up, so it's my turn to shine when she can't handle the pressure. When things get hard, but she can handle it, I'm the one that makes her suck it up.
She's the cute one. I'm the hot one. She's the photographer, I'm the model. She's the singer, I'm the lyrics and the voice within. I'll explain more later, but for now, that's all you need to know.

I love you, no matter who you are.
Gabrielle ♥♥




Changes In The Atmosphere

No, not the whole thing about “global warming” and rain.

I mean about people changing their minds due to changes in the situation……

If one analyzes a situation and develops an opinion, should one be frowned upon because the situation changed, and therefore, the opinion changed?

I have no clue, but I hope not, because I’m a very analytical and opinionated person.

I try to be right, try to please everyone, and I know I can’t. To be honest?

If I could, I’d silent myself. I think I’d make it so that I couldn’t speak my mind. I’d have the freedom to, but I’d be able to choose not to, to not have such a wonderous mind. I wish I could think just enough to be able to survive and live contently, but not enough to disturb anyone else in any way at all.

I guess that points to joining the convent, become a nun. BUT LET’S LEAVE THAT AS A LAST RESULT. Let’s not be too rash, but just to add some sillyness (which I seem to love oh, so much), let’s list reasons why I should become a nun.

  1. I love God and Jesus…..yeah…I do.
  2. I love helping people, putting smiles on faces.
  3. I feel safe at church…like nothing else matters as much. Life outside goes on hold for whatever is happening there.
  4. It’d be easier to be quiet and enjoy what’s going on around me instead of being in the middle of it.

WAIT A SECOND! That was terrifying.

I think I just learned a lot about myself RIGHT THERE. Blogging is uber-fun, really, you should do it if you don’t already.  So back to the point (what I learned about myself)…..

A while ago, I was so paranoid and happy because I felt like I was in a thick glass bubble, outside of the world and looking in, wishing I could do something but feeling totally out of control, invisible, out of the picture. It was too quiet, too eerie and isolated. Isolation in activity.

But above I was listing reason of why I should join a form of free-captivity (if that makes sense). See what I mean about changing minds based on situations?

Wow, that was shorter than I thought it would be, but let’s keep going. I like this…It feels refreshing. What else is going through this brain of mine…..

For once, I’m not the ones doing the blogs that are directed to anyone, and it feels good. It feels….free.

Now I feel like the genie in Aladdin (LOOK AT ME, I’M FREE, I’M FREE!)

Yeah, Momo would have done a good job at that role. Ah well, off to bigger and better….much better school productions :)

I’m still dreaming of working on my own productions, and I don’t intend to stay in the state (not U.S. state, dumbsh*t) that I’m in. I intend to work at it, not just sit and whine and weep and write. No, I want to freakin sing.

And you know what? Tonight, I don’t want to blog about it. I’d like to stick to more insightful topics. Prepare for longer blogs.

Parenting…scary, scary thing. And I’m just talking about being the one parented, not being the parent. Especially when you aren’t afraid to have a discussion with a parent of your friend, not only about parenting, but with nobody else in the room. It gets me thinking….parents really do have control over your lives. If it wasn’t for some human weaknesses and our vulnerability to them, it probably wouldn’t be as tight, but it is. It’s hard to trust your parents. I’ve always heard this, but now it’s coming further into the light. If you can’t trust your parents, who can you trust?

That’s right. No one. But we all know that deep down, we trust our friends.

But even deeper down,

we trust no one.

I also realize that this does not relate to everyone, so don’t get me wrong. But ANOTHER thing I’m realizing is that no matter what, who, or where you are, the mere fact that we are human ties us together, holding us by the life and tearing apart what’s left. We’ve all, at some point, have felt the same thing. If not at the same time, not for the same reason, but the only variable that really matters: the same ache, the same cry, the same pain.

Pain is the only thing that brings us together. Joy is too easily faked. Pain is something real, that people can not change or fade, if anything, influence.

Pain, if nothing more than a pebble in the road, is what changes minds.

Love You, I Do.

G.K.B.T.

June 27, 2009
Notes

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